June 6, 2012

How to escape a chatterbox manager

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By Marie G. McIntyre /McClatchy-Tribune News Service
Q: My manager has an annoying habit of talking nonstop about her family. She goes into great detail about her daughter’s clothes, her son’s sports activities, or her mother’s latest trip. I obviously don’t want to alienate my boss, but this is really getting on my nerves. What should I do?

A: Most people who get trapped by compulsive talkers are simply being too polite. Because they see no way to escape without being rude, they suffer in silence while the speaker drones on and on. Sadly, this only serves to reward the very behavior they would like to discourage.

To extract yourself from your manager’s monologues, you must find a way to disengage without being offensive. Fortunately, at work, the need to be productive always provides a valid excuse. For example, if your boss is extolling her son’s soccer prowess, just wait for an appropriate moment, then say, “That’s impressive. Ryan must be quite an athlete. Well, I suppose I’d better start making those customer calls.”

If you find yourself cornered in her office, the “gradual exit” maneuver may come in handy. Start by sitting up straight and leaning forward in your chair. Then, while you continue chatting, slowly stand up and begin working your way toward the door. By the time you have one hand on the doorknob, the conversation should be winding down.

Another trick is to take control of the discussion by telling a story of your own. When you finish this anecdote, quickly excuse yourself and return to work. Ending a conversation is much easier if you’re the one doing the talking.

Of course, these strategies only work if they are executed with a friendly attitude and a smile. But if you can pull it off, you may be able to shorten the family saga without insulting your boss.

Submit questions to Marie G. McIntyre at yourofficecoach.com.

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Workplace Topics, etiquette, featured, managing up, office politics

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