When the first career counseling client told me he had been on the Atkins diet since he lost his job, I thought it was a good move since he was over 50 and seriously needed to take off pounds. I didn't pay it much mind until a few weeks later when another executive, who'd just become a client, mentioned that he was doing the same thing.

In my 20 years as a career consultant I've come to realize that men really lose a sense of self when they are forced off the job. Their identity is defined by their job title and employer. Although men often publicly keep a stiff upper lip, they confess to me that they are embarrassed and frustrated to find themselves forced to job hunt again. This seems to be especially true for older workers in their 40s and 50s. "On the job I got caught up in the demands to create and produce", says Lew, a 52 year-old client who lost 22 pounds in eight weeks. "Now I had time to take a real hard look at me and I'm stuck. I can't push ahead anymore since job hunting is such a long, slow process, but I can recreate me and so I'm at the gym daily, even running, to trim down and look better."

Mac, also in his 50s, said it was fear that spurred him on. "I got scared that a younger, fitter looking person will beat me out for those few good jobs that are available. Especially when I accidentally heard someone say I was a heart attack waiting to happen. So my personal shape-up plan got launched. Six months later I'm interviewing 60 pounds lighter than when I lost the job."

Over 40-somethings say they spend two to three hours at the gym each day. Their eagerness to do something seems to be working. The male clients (I don't know of any females clients who took this activity on while unemployed), have lost weight and do present themselves better. They have been put into a position where their sense of self-esteem was damaged and exercising daily is good therapy to soothe the pain of a job loss. Counseling one client recently, I advised, "Your suit looks dated, and it doesn't fit you at all. You need a new smaller size that looks stylish and fits well. I suggest you get a new suit." The man smiled and said, "That's the nicest thing anyone's said to me in a long while."

How we feel is so often projected in all we say and do. These men are active, and as a result are happier, sending out a vitality and enthusiasm that is appealing to employers. Maybe the loss of a job does have benefits: better health and a great new job are two wonderful things to aspire for.