Q&A: Worker bee stung for not being social butterfly

November 14, 2012

Q&A: Worker bee stung for not being social butterfly

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By Marie G. McIntyre / McClatchy-Tribune News Service

Q: During my last performance review, my manager told me that I need to improve my interpersonal relationships. Some of my co-workers apparently said that I don't talk to them enough. I actually am a friendly person, but at work my only goal is to get my tasks completed. In my opinion, we're here to do a job, not waste a lot of time chatting and joking.

My manager recently assigned me to a new team, so I now have a chance to change his opinion of my communication skills. I'm hoping this will result in a better review next time. How can I get off to a good start with this group?

A: You and your former colleagues provide a perfect illustration of a common personality difference. Some people naturally gravitate toward tasks, while others are drawn to social interaction. Task-oriented folks such as you are often more successful when they invest some time in building relationships.

If your new teammates also tend to be worker bees, then you should have no trouble being accepted. But if this is another bunch of social butterflies, you may need to make a special effort to fit in. For example, when you see co-workers chatting, take a few minutes to join the conversation. If they regularly eat lunch together, don't have a solitary meal at your desk.

To determine whether you have succeeded in changing your boss's perceptions, ask him for feedback at regular intervals. This will allow you to make appropriate course corrections and avoid unpleasant surprises at review time.

Marie G. McIntyre is a workplace coach. Submit questions at yourofficecoach.com.

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Barnaby Sonnenschein on November 16, 2012 2:39 PM | Reply

I can relate. My former manager used to tell me she would like to see me getting up from my desk and going around socializing with my co-workers more. I thought that was about as strange as my manager before that informally reprimanding me for not going out to lunch enough and putting it on my expense report.

Kyle on November 20, 2012 4:25 PM | Reply

Or the company* could dump Manager Gladhand and the cadre of water cooler ticks and hire people like the letter writer.

*I hope that the author's email didn't originate from any of the numerous institutions that our tax dollars and fees support.

Dean on November 23, 2012 10:53 PM | Reply

The manager is completely correct, the social aspect is not a detriment to accomplishing work it is a boon. I get a lot of work done at my office but I also socialize a lot. I can get projects done in half the time that others estimate because I know who to go to and who will help me out. If we were all drones then communism wouldn't have failed. You need to have the social connections to accomplish complex goals. I can get anyone to sit at their desk and accomplish goals in their own little world. I need people who can bring teams together and provide something that is greater than the sum of it's parts. The 2 previous poster would not do well with me and I'd sit them in their cubes and let them plug away without any room for advancement because they don't see the value in working in a highly cohesive team.

John on December 5, 2012 6:53 AM | Reply

Exactly right Dean. Its called being a team.

Q&A: Worker bee stung for not being social butterfly

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