April 2, 2009

Dealing with the less tangible effects of a layoff

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When we talk about layoffs with our friends and neighbors, the conversation usually turns to unemployment benefits, health insurance, and plans for the future.

Sure, those who've been laid off may talk about how they feel anxious, angry, blue, frustrated, or betrayed by their former employer. But there are other side effects of getting pink-slipped that people aren't always comfortable sharing, even with those they're closest to.

Take the cabin fever that can stem from suddenly finding yourself without a place to go every day and no one but the cat to interact with 40+ hours a week.

Debra, a Nine to Thrive reader who was laid off last week, says that after the initial devastation of losing her job, she was hit by a wave of loneliness. Hard.

"Oh, it's possible to hang out with the friends that are still working, but not a good idea," Debra said in an email. "It just stirs up 'Why me?' feelings."

Then there's the blow your self-esteem can take when there's no reason to get up and get dressed by 7 a.m. each morning, no matter how much you grumbled and muttered and swore through your former morning commute. Not having an organization or community to contribute to can leave us feeling adrift, untethered, even detached from society.

And for those parents and adult caregivers who have a domestic life that's chaotic at best, losing a job sometimes means losing the place you could go five days a week to relax, as laid-off dad Paul Tullis writes at the end of this funny New York Daily News essay.

But you don't have to wait till you secure your next job to regain your sense of camaraderie and community or to find a quiet respite away from the chaos of your daily home life. You can start a job hunters' coffee klatch with other laid-off friends and colleagues. Or you can blog, volunteer, or take a class. Or meet unemployed pals for a weekly "let's take our mind off the job hunt for an hour" walk around Green Lake.

While it's true that none of these activities takes the place of paid full-time work, they can put you one step closer to finding your next gig. After all, the best networking often happens in informal settings.

At the very least, they'll give you a reason to put on your pants and get out of the house a couple times a week.

Michelle Goodman is the author of "My So-Called Freelance Life" and "The Anti 9-to-5 Guide." E-mail Michelle at mgoodman@nwjobs.com

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1 Comments

Lynn Kraegel on April 8, 2009 5:03 PM | Reply

Thank you SO much for covering these aspects of joblessness. I've had intentional time-outs from employment to pursue other things. Everyone tells me how lucky I am not to have to work. And I am lucky. But I can also feel very cut-off and disconnected from the so called real world. And very few people understand or respect my choices. So, thanks!

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