This is such good advice, I believe it can help many people. However, you have to really believe Paul is right and that it will work or you won't take that chance walking up to a stranger and asking that first open ended question. There is always that possibility of rejection or looking stupid.

Without a doubt Paul is right on. Have faith and give it a try. It works. His example is spot on and I would suggest you use that exact language on your first few contacts. It will give you confidence and with every success you get better and better. When you ask questions about others, they are happy because they will get to talk about their favorite subject: themselves, families, or organizations

I haven't found evidence that social science research has been able to establish whether shyness or introversion is genetic or environmental yet; however, Paul is correct that you can overcome it either way.

I have suffered and often times still do suffer from "social anxiety." However, I am able to deal with it by doing exactly what Paul suggests.

I am not operating in my preferred personality style or environment when in groups; however, I started acting confident and eventually became confident after several successful events. I'd rather be in the comfort of my home with a good book or good friend than to be out at social events. That doesn't mean I cannot be effective at social events, just that I don't prefer them. In a society, social events are necessary. It's how we get things done and how we find dream jobs.

I suffered from social anxiety so bad that I studied and researched how to manage it at the university level. There are several strategies to manage social anxiety and several other anxieties.

I list them all in a book I wrote in 2006 called,

"Harnessing Your Fear of Public Speaking."

It is about the fear of public speaking; however, all the strategies are the same for any communication anxiety: interviews, talking with the boss, looking for work, approaching strangers, walking into a party by yourself, meeting a friend in a public spot and arriving there first (I suspect this has a lot to do with those friends that are always late), telling a little about yourself at a party, and of course any public speaking event.

I reviewed all the research and put it into a 40 minute read with 18 strategies to try.

I also teach courses on social anxiety and communication studies at Green River Community College. In the past I researched, wrote, and taught at Eastern Washington University and later at Highline Community College before landing on the faculty at Green River.

You can get more information on my book, read the first chapter, and order at my website:

www.MattsonCommunication.com

If you wish to order, call us at 206 653 7651 and we'll discount the book $5.00 for Hire Ground readers. (The book is going into it's third printing this week--it has helped many people.)

Get out there and talk to people, it's the best way. The people getting hired are doing it--you can do it too.

The odds of you finding work by contacting others in person is because the thousands of your competitors stay home complaining about hard times with the economy and there is no work available; thus, they are hiding behind their computer screens because it is safer than meeting others in person risking rejection or looking stupid. Don't be one of them.

As for the good folks with disabilities, the objections usually come from within and a few ignorant people who have crossed your path. Use your disability as your single most unfair advantage. It creates in you a uniqueness and other abilities that most people don't have. It is your job to define that uniqueness that comes with your disability and communicate it to prospective employer. I suggest to people whose first language is not English to use your accent or knowledge of another culture as your single most unfair advantage. I could go on and on. Actually we all have a single most unfair advantage on why an employer should hire us, it's the people who discover and communicate it that get hired.

People who have been to our workshops have learned some excellent strategies for finding jobs before they are posted. I realize most people are afraid to make initial contact; however, I have shown attendees strategies that work for even the most introverted of the introverts. :) A few have left comments on here about it.

I am happy to share these strategies with anyone.

Rod Mattson
Mattson Communication Training
www.MattsonCommunication.com

Better yet, email me personally to order the social anxiety book "Harnessing Your Fear of Public Speaking" with the $5.00 discount for Hire Ground readers.

Rod Mattson
rmattson@MattsonCommunication.com

Randy,

Great article and solid advice. So many introverts wrestle with this problem.

Mark Ste. Marie
Interview Skills Training
http://theinterviewingedge.com/

Actually I'm so desperate for business I'll take $15 my book for Hire Ground readers.

You have to email me before the end of the month at rmattson@mattsoncommunication.com to get this offer (have to make rent this month).

Thanks,
Rod