December 18, 2009

Networking event advice for social wallflowers

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'Tis the season to be social. Even if you're unemployed and not attending a corporate sponsored holiday party, chances are you've been to many holiday gatherings in the last two weeks where the conversation has shifted to the subject of work. While in-person networking, even at casual social events, has been endlessly promoted by career counselors as the secret to unlocking the "hidden job market," making those connections with the right people remains a difficult and often bewildering task.

For those Seattle-area job seekers who are a bit shy when it comes to the average meet-and-greet, Sandy Jones-Kaminski, networking expert and founder of business development firm Bella Domain, has recently published I'm at a Networking Event--Now What??? At about 80 pages, this slim reference guide is packed with handy tips about preparing in advance for networking events, maintaining a consistent online profile, following up with new contacts by offering assistance and even holding your own networking event.

Jones-Kaminski, who honed her networking skills at corporate jobs in Chicago and Northern California, wrote the book after she moved to Seattle and noted that the polite but infamously chilly disposition of the general populace made it hard for many people to open up to the possibilities that networking can bring. The secret, she says, is the "pay it forward" approach--to make each event about helping others rather than convincing others to help you.

"The idea is to make a conscious effort to increase the goodness of your corner of the world," Jones-Kaminski writes, "and networking situations are the ideal environment in which to give it a go." Here is some advice from her book about your next networking event to ensure that you won't be the lone wallflower.

Check yourself. When you arrive at an event and are understandably a bit nervous, you may not realize that your state of mind can show up in your appearance. At your first opportunity, check into the restroom and make sure you look good, "or at least not frazzled or weather-beaten," she writes. More importantly, make sure your body language exudes positive energy and confidence. Stand up straight with your shoulders back and don't cross your arms, which tends to shut people out. And remember to smile--a basic expression that is sometimes overlooked if you are nervous, she adds.

Be present and mindful. Far too many networkers, she says, appear to be engaged in conversation yet continue to dart their eyes around the room, looking for other contacts while the other person is speaking. Remember that listening is as active endeavor. "Without focus on the present moment, you are less likely to succeed at whatever you are doing," she writes.

Offer to help others first. By listening to and focusing on the needs of other attendees, people will naturally want to reciprocate. Ask attendees how you can help them meet their goals or perhaps suggest a friend or colleague who might be a well-placed contact. "Most of my reluctant networker clients report that when they attend events with the goal of helping, they feel more at ease," she says. "Some report, with some surprise, that they actually kind of enjoy themselves."

Randy Woods writes about job-search tools, networking techniques and other tips to help you land your dream job.

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1 Comments

Sandy Jones-Kaminski on December 18, 2009 10:12 PM | Reply

Thanks for sharing these tips from my book Randy and here's another one for your readers:

After the initial pleasantries at an event ask the person you've just started chatting with what they are working on these days. It's a much easier question to get an answer to than the usual, "So Randy, what do you do?"

Happy Holidays all! Sandy

Sandy Jones-Kaminski
Strategic Business Development and then some....
www.BellaDomain.com
http://www.linkedin.com/in/sandyjk

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