June 21, 2012

Moving on: How to bounce back from career setbacks

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Getting laid off is a sad fact of life, especially in the last five years following the global financial meltdown. Most of us manage to bounce back by redefining our goals, establishing a networking strategy and settling into a job search routine. For many, however, letting go from their previous employers can be a tough problem.

Since 2008, for instance, I've suffered three separate career setbacks. The layoffs occurred for different reasons but they all landed the same gut punch to my confidence, which I had to rebuild with the help of my friends, family and business network. Each time I was able to get back on my feet, but even today, many months or even years afterward, I still can't think of the way those jobs ended without a twinge of regret. Sometimes if I pass by my old office or run into a former colleague, I can't help but feel that same mixture of anger, fear and humiliation well up inside me. I'd put so much time and effort into those jobs only to have them end so abruptly and without my consent.

In most career advice books, these post-layoff emotions are mentioned briefly as something to expect and overcome, but few of them analyze the often profound and lingering psychological effects of a layoff. So I was fascinated to discover a book by career coach Jean Baur, called Eliminated! Now What? Finding Your Way from Job-Loss Crisis to Career Resilience, which speaks frankly about the confusion and emotional pain inflicted by a layoff and discussed ways to set your mind back on a positive track.

One of the more interesting observations Baur makes in her book is that many workers she has counseled over the years have expressed similar feelings of despair even after being laid off from jobs which they said they actively disliked. "You're used to poison," she explains. "Poison feels almost natural and now you have nothing. So although it's a job you hated, you resent the fact that it's been taken away from you."

The heart of this problem, Baur writes, is the conviction by many competent workers that they are indispensable, that no one else could possibly be as dedicated or knowledgeable as they are about the job and company culture. In reality, of course, almost no one is irreplaceable, which is one of the most important truths job seekers must realize if they are to move on with their careers, she says. Here are a few tips Baur suggests for job seekers who continue to struggle with letting go of the past and charting a new course:

1) Stop focusing on "why." One of the common obsessions I had after some of my layoffs was a focus on what I could have done to prevent them. In most instances, Baur says, this line of thinking is irrelevant and unproductive. "I tell my clients that this is where they need to build the Great Wall of China--or a moat filled with sharks," she writes. "Try to get yourself to face forward rather than backward and set up good, strong habits that will sustain your job search," she adds, such as establishing a daily routine, using outplacement services and getting regular exercise.

2) Don't go it alone. "Most studies show that job seekers who are connected to others land better jobs more quickly," she says. "Think of a friend--it could be a former coworker who was also let go--who would make a good search buddy. Ask whether you can team up and call each other once a day to report progress. Maybe you can also decide to meet once a week."

3) Avoid the negativity trap. Unless they are particularly encouraging, try not to spend much time with former colleagues at your past company as they will often unintentionally make you feel worse, Baur says. Many well-meaning but misinformed friends will cite job statistics that can make you feel like you'll never work again, so try not to take them seriously. Most importantly, she suggests going on a strict news diet. "If you want to listen to radio programs or read the newspaper, that's usually just fine," she adds. "It's the TV news that tends to dramatize unemployment issues."

4) Leave some time for creativity. In the days and weeks after a layoff, the feeling of helplessness can be overwhelming. While you're working on your networking skills, try to make time to volunteer for causes you care about, attend an art class, coach a sport, take up gardening--the activity itself is less important than the sense of control it can bring. "Getting something done breeds satisfaction," she writes. "Mindless tasks such as cleaning out a closet or recycling your old paint cans makes space for something new. My advice is try them, cling to them; because without your really knowing why, they begin your recovery."

Randy Woods writes about job-search tools, networking techniques and other tips to help you land your dream job.

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career change, finding your passion, layoffs, motivation, networking, self-confidence